Your two favorite Bronx philosophers are back and dispensing their unique brand of self-help tips to get you through “The Rona”. Will there be cussing and potty humor? Of course! Now, buckle up and take a listen to the annual About Men Radio podcast — coronavirus edition.
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Hurricane Irma: Forget Bottled Water. Getting Wine Is Tougher!
Silvio, who lives near Orlando, Fla., offers this tale of hardship in the lead-up to Irma’s expected arrival in southern Florida. He will be providing further updates on Irma as long as he still has power — and wine.
I had already pretty much completed my hurricane supply run during the Labor Day weekend, beating out the rush for batteries and the aisle-5-bottled-water riots.
But there were still a few items to fully top off my supplies, especially red wine!
So to avoid the most congested hours of the supermarket battleground, I trudged off to the Publix supermarket near my job. I arrived just before 8 a.m.
Not having to be at work until a 9 a.m. meeting, I had plenty of time. Since I could avoid the water aisle, I was also assured of not going into work with blood spattered clothes.
I instead loaded my cart with some extra canned soup, canned meats, snacks and Gatorade.
But most important, I went to the wine section and picked up some Malbec/Cabernet blended reds.
Four bottles.
I got on line to check out between some disheveled water warriors and loaded my items on the belt, still with plenty of time to get to work.
It was only 8:20 a.m.
My turn to pay. Pleasant banter with the cashier and the manager filling in for a bagging clerk.
Until my precious bottles of red rolled up.
“I’m sorry. It’s too early for these,” she said as she removed my bottles from the belt and placed them behind her, almost defensively.
“What the FUCK!?” my mind screamed.
It was clearly on my face as I turned to the manager, who calmly told me that it was before 9 and they couldn’t sell alcohol before then.
“Do you really think you are protecting me from drinking four bottles of wine before 9 a.m.?” I asked very sarcastically.
“I’m sorry, sir,” she said. “The registers won’t ring it up.”
So there I was, early bird but without my wine.
One of my favorite scenes from the fifth season of Mad Men perfectly illustrates what we discuss on the latest episode of About Men Radio.
In the segment Don Draper, Ken Cosgrove, and their spouses are having dinner at Pete Campbell’s new home in the suburbs. While the men are swapping stories over apéritifs, the woman break into giggles and shrieks in the kitchen. The men rush in and find the sink doing a great impression of a geyser. Pete scurries off to find his shiny new tools while Don leaps into action and fixes the sink without effort.
The women admire Don’s macho handiness and Pete looks like a complete schmendrick.
Being able to handle simple “fix-it” jobs around the house was a prerequisite for earning and keeping “man of the house” status as I grew up but is that still true in the 21st Century?
I am not ashamed to admit that much like Pete on the show if my kitchen sink busted the best I could do is scrape off the price tags from my lightly used wrench and wait for the superintendent to show up.
I was eager to find out which of the About Men Crew were Don Drapers and which of us were Pete Campbells . In true About Men fashion, the conversation took many twists and turns but, as always, fun was had every step of the way.