Life After “Downton Abbey” For Its Characters

The series finale of “Downton Abbey” is Sunday night but that does not mean the characters do not carry on with their lives.

Here is a glimpse of what happened with some of the major players post-DA:

Mrs. Patmore: Moved to Nevada where brothels are legal, and opened her own house of ill repute, Patmore’s Playpen.

Mr. Carson: Became an eyebrow transplant donor.

Mrs. Hughes: Was acquitted of assault after beating Carson within an inch of his life with a spatula after he complained one too many times about her cooking.

Anna and Mr. Bates: They lived happily ever after. No, seriously. Really.

Mary: Underwent heart transplant surgery to install the one she did not have.

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Cora: Successfully underwent surgery to have more than one facial expression.

Mr. Barrows: Joined a punk goth band. (Tell me you can’t see it…)

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Edith: Founded an app dating service called Losr that connects people who are destined to be in ruined relationships.

Lord Grantham: Known for his financial acumen, Robert became homeless after investing with Bernie Madoff.

Mr. Molesly: Became a rugby player after deciding it was less of a contact sport than teaching the children from the village.

Marigold: Pressed stalking charges against her mother.

Tom: Presidential campaign manager for socialist candidate Bernie Sanders.

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Spratt: Moved to the United States where he started a successful advice column under the nom de plume “Ann Landers.”

Denker: Joined Darth Vader’s Imperial forces as a stormtrooper and was killed in her first battle. No one misses her.

The Dowager: Became chief ruthlessness officer in the Nixon White House.

Dr. Clarkson: Exasperated and frustrated, he decided humans were way too much of a pain to deal with and became a veterinarian.

Daisy: Became a double O agent for MI6, with 34 confirmed kills.

Lady Rosamund: Runs a home for wayward single mothers.

Isobel: Created a line of bobble head dolls that say “I told you so.”

Baxter: Is still sewing.